Do you keep listening to electronic dance music?
How do you snap out of an addiction or a certain belief in way of thinking?
Do you have to hit rock bottom before changing yourself?
What if you don't ever hit it but you're always just sinking?
How can a depressed person not be depressed?
If a depressed person yells at himself "snap out of it" enough times, will he just snap out of? Can you really just stop feeling sad and feel awesome instead?
Do you tell yourself to STFU and quit being a little bitch. or do you listen to yourself and cry?
The biggest obstacle is a lack of willpower.
To all other problems, someone else can say to you "you're only sad cuz you allow yourself to be", or "it's only boring because you make it boring", or "it's only hard because you think it's hard", or "whatever you do, work at it with all your heart", or "work out your salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who works in you," and if you have enough willpower, even if you're sad, you can will yourself out of it and can apply the "When I feel sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story" and just snap out of it.
But when you have a lack of willpower, you're fucked.
You hate what you're doing but you do it anyways and you watch your whole world crumble in your hands.
You're trapped. and everyone just thinks you're an idiot for being so self-pitiful. And even you think you're an idiot for being so self-pitiful. It's like you're on the ground, in a fetal position, getting beat up, spit at, kicked, stomped on, and laughed at by a gang. Except you're one of the people doing the stomping. In fact you are the whole gang, there's a dozen of you, and you're doing the kicking, spitting, laughing, hating.
This article is a good description about the lack of willpower:
http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro05/web3/ediamond.html
A song comes to mind:
If shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine
If it had a home would it be my eyes
Would you believe me if I said I'm tired of this
Well here we go now one more time
'cause i tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I can get down to the ground
I tried to earn my way
I tried to tame this mind
You better believe that I tried to beat this
So when will this end
It goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this for good
I never thought I'd end up here
Never thought I'd be standing where I am
I guess I kind of thought it would be easier than this
I guess i was wrong now one more time
Cause I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I can get down to the ground
And i tried to earn my way
I tried to change this mind
You better believe that I tried to beat this,
So when will this end
It goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this
Sick cycle carousel, this is a sick cycle, yeah
Sick cycle carousel
This is a sick cycle yeah
Actually, another song comes to mind. except this second song has a happy ending. In my current position, there is no happy ending in sight.
Standing knee-deep in cold water, swiftly moving
Somehow I knew I lost something
Waiting waist-deep I saw a book there, in the river
Waiting for me to find it there
I tried to read it, neck deep, treading water
The tide pulled me out to sea
Then with water in my eyes
The words began to rise from their place
They were beautiful and dread
I reached for them and fed on each phrase
They were honey on my lips
Then a bitter twist in my side
I knew they'd lay me in my grave
"Is there no one who could save me?" I cried
Sinking down deep through cold water and heavy silence
Shadows stirring in the gloom
What things lay sleeping down deep in the darkness?
Woke then to find me in my tomb
Then with water in my eyes
The words began to rise from their place
They were beautiful and dread
I reached for them and fed on each phrase
They were honey on my lips
Then a bitter twist in my side
I knew they'd lay me in my grave
"Is there no one who could save me?" I cried
And when I lost all hope to look
Someone took that heavy book from my hands
All it's weight they set aside
After they had satisfied it's demands
I felt white and black reverse
And the lifting of a curse from my heart
Then like one receiving sight
I beheld a brilliant light in the dark
